Saturday, December 23, 2006

Miss Nevada pictures? WTF?!?!

Over the last couple of weeks, there's been a bunch of media exposure of Miss USA Tara Conner about her drunken, cocaine-sniffing stuper. Now this morning, I saw some of this shock-and-awe "Breaking News" on CNN about Miss Nevada being stripped of her duties as well because of similiar actions.

As the phrase, "pictures posted on the internet", echoed into my living room, I just couldn't resist heading to Google. Now that I am reflecting on it, I really don't think I've ever supped this low to investigate such garbage, but when I found those pictures after about 2.5 minutes of googling, I really was... BLOWN AWAY! ...and not because she's a very gorgeous woman doing erotic poses and actions with other gorgeous women, but because you have to be a FUCKING idiot to do that!

I hope my two daughters don't ever get stuck in that type of whirlwind of shit when they get that old, then have me watch the news and see their to naked mugs all over CNN or Google images.

Anyrate, I'd be labeled gay if I didn't link to these pictures so every one of you could make your own judgement. If anything, it's pure amusement to see Miss USA give immitation head to an Eminem wanna-be. Ha, truly humorous!

Click here for the Miss Nevada pictures.

Monday, December 11, 2006

So bored, I think I'll look at Teddybears?!

I'm in training this week at work (more Java programming, wahoo!) and if you've ever been in training before, the first day is usually a small waste of time set aside to all the people who haven't programmed since 1985, or who are OO-clueless asking what a class is, ect.

When my mind starts to wander during the overview sections of the class, I have a bad habit of looking at other people's computer monitors to see what they are doing. It really is a humorous adventure in itself. I've seen everything from offbeat news to horse purchasing (yes, the farm animal).

However, this was a new one to add to the list of things to look at when you're bored. A rather sharp gentleman to my 2 o'clock position was looking at the history of the TeddyBear (yes, the stuffed animal) and flipping through another website touting the text "Last Hug TeddyBear". I didn't see a wedding band on his hand, so it's safe to assume it's probably 'not for the kids'. If anything, that's just flat-out creepy, but outlandishly funny.

Now what did I do? I tried to look for that site he was looking at. So that tells you just how bored I was...

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Windows 'Too Hot' for my laptop

I have this Dell Inspirion 1100 and it's been a good laptop for me. It was cheap, I was deploying to the motherland of Iraq for a year, what the hell, right? On top of this laptop being quite beefy when it comes to the size and weight of things, it's also got a very powerful, yet heat-intense Celeron processor in it.

On a side note of this, I'm a pretty big Linux fan. Always have, always will be (contrary to blokes out there who operate such vile blogs: I hate Linux Blog. Because I'm such a fan and devoted wifi wardriver amongst other things, I dualboot XP Home and whatever fancy flavor of Fedora core that is out there.

Well back to my laptop; it overheats and ALOT. There isn't a time while I am using my laptop, booted into XP Home, that after 30 minutes goes by, it starts; the heat and the buzzing of the outtake fan trying to cool things off. If I proceed to use, after an hour or so, the battery gets so hot that the battery indicator light starts to flash, warning me to shutdown and let the battery cool down for awhile.

Funny, I was doing some development while booted into Linux, laptop sitting on my kitchen table under a dinner placement (e.g. air intake not so good) and is this thing hot? nope. Is the battery about ready to spontaneously combust? nope.

It's safe to say that it's more than correlation: Windows is just 'too hot' for me to even use anymore.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The Dog Trials

So, I'm a cat fan. I don't care for dogs all that much for the simple fact that the "less-than-considerate" neighbors I've lived by my whole life pretty much tarnished any attempt of showing another human being how to raise a good, obediant dog.

When I think of dogs, I think of two things:

1) Dog shit in *my* yard that I step in
2) Dog barking all hours of the day/night

Somehow, I've become a bit more softer in my old age, thus being a big buckler when it comes to owning alot of things we have now at my house; one of these being a dog. My wife picked out a cocker spaniel from the pet shop over the weekend and after about a day, I've come to realize that it's a really smart, tame, quiet and cuddley dog.

So hopefully it doesn't bark excessively and cause too much mischief in our house. All I know is it isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be so far.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Monday Night... Katrina News?!

I don't know about anyone else, but I happen to look forward to the NFL football season every fucking year. I even find pre-season mildly entertaining, because it's a good way to get me on pace to tune in on Sunday's and Monday nights on a regular basis.

I'm watching the Cowboys/Saints pre-season game right now and I sure *thought* I was watching football, but somehow the WHOLE first quarter was dedicated to talking about Hurricane Katrina. Could I give a SHIT? Abso-fucking-lutely NOT! It was almost a YEAR ago! Get over it!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

McDonalds "smart" campaign?

I rarely goto McDonalds. I don't particularly enjoy the place or it's food, but I do go there for ice cream with the kids once in awhile.

Now, maybe I'm just not aware of changes that happens in McDonalds society, but I noticed there was this certain "look and feel" McDonalds was trying achieve when I sat down to eat; it looked like I was having ice cream in the presidental library. There were these fancy mock bookshelfs plastered all over with fake books with long, throaty, semi-important titles tagged on them and the architecture of the place was overloaded with wrap-around chair cushins and white pillars that stretched to the ceiling.

Maybe the intent is to make you feel smarter when you're in there, but when I looked over at one of their advertising signs on one of the windows and the text describing one of their meals said, "Yer Choice.", I just shake my head in disgust.

McDonalds has been added to my list of 'devil places' right along with Walmart.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Strapped for Words

You know, on the brighter side of things, I really dont have anything to bitch about today. I'm pretty damn tired, work dragged on like forever and I had to go to that devil of a place *WALMART* to get groceries.

On the plus side, I'm going to make my wife and I a big fat-ass plate of super nachoes, veg out and watch mindless television shows.

And I just found out it's damn near impossible to say "Swedish Massage" without fucking it up. How about that for excitement at my place, eh?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Donnie Baker in Sioux Falls?




I'm a huge Bob and Tom fan. But I'm an even bigger Donnie Baker fan. I literally almost go off the road in laughter when Donnie calls in and bitches about not being able to sell his boat.

Well, I was driving to work this morning and I happened to see this one hell of a "sight" and I couldn't help but pull over and notice this 8th wonder of the world.

I know this is Donnie Baker's boat, "...I swear to God it is."

Sunday, July 09, 2006

HD-TV... well... RULES

So maybe I'm a late bloomer on this, but I broke down and bought a 26" LCD HDTV with a built-in digital tuner for my basement yesterday. I figured I might have to buy a set-top antenna so I could maybe try and capture some of the locally broadcasted stations here in time before football starts to watch some NFL in HD.

Well to no avail, apparently even with my cheapy, basic analog cable package, my cable service provider puts the HD streamed local channels (plus alot of others that are not local) into my cable stream already! Mission Impossible II (which aired on ABC last night) was absolutely crisp and sharp as ever!

I can tell you it is quite possibly the best picture I've ever seen as far as television goes, WOW! I was amazed and still am.

Go and buy yourself one... now.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Fireworks Suck...

I came to the conclusion last night at 12:30am that fireworks, indeed, suck when mixed with dipshit, inconsiderate neighbors and booze.

Now I can handle the occasional bottle rocket, whisler, and arial display, but to light off a 10-fucking-million round pack of lady fingers off at midnight followed by what sounded like whole grosses of bottle rockets going off simultaneously with whoops and hollars from middle-aged people really angers me. Then to top it off, my neighbors dog insanely barks right along with all the chaos.

And it was only the 2nd of July. I can't imagine what tonight and the 4th of July will bring.

I really wish I lived on my own island or fenced in acrage because I'm beginning to despise the human population more and more as each day passes.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Gorilla Computer Game Port to Windows

I'm diving pretty heavily into C# and thought I'd use my new famed skills to re-write (not so much 'port' the program line for line from it's BAS life) the coolest fucking game ever written: Gorilla from DOS 5.

If you dont know what I'm talking about, you're either too young or a homo (or both). I used to play this on my old man's Windows 3.1 workstation when I would visit him at his workplace many years back and I used to kick my twin brothers ass in it, too. It should be pretty kick ass once I get it written.

Still clueless on what game I'm talking about? If so, go here: Gorilla Wikipedia

The Arabic Chai King

So I was fortunate enough after a one year tour in Iraq to smuggle home some of the loose leaf black tea the Iraqi folk use to make their chai tea. All I can say is I have come damn close to perfecting it. If only I could have smuggled that old Iraqi man who made this sweet elixer on our base in my duffle bag too...

It's a tricky deal (atleast for me) to get timing of the boiling and simmer of the tea leaves once added to the boiling water just right; it's a combination of looking for the right color, smell and taste. I use a heaping tablespoon of tea to a little over 1 cup of water. Maybe I don't do it right, but any other combination I've tried leaves it too bitter or with no taste at all.

I don't add all the hoo-ha to my tea like some people do either; milk, cardamon seeds, ginger, cinamon and shit like that only takes away from the true flavor. I just put enough sugar to balance out the bitterness.

Anyrate, If you're any sort of tea drinker and you haven't tried this shit yet, drop me a line, I'll gladly hook you up with a tea bag to sample it.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Did I say I hate dumbshit kids who litter, too?

Now that I'm on the rant of loud, ignored, barking dogs, I'd also like to express my extreme hatred for dipshit kids who trot through everyone's yards (including mine) to get to their destination and throw their soda/gatorade/water bottles diliberately into the yard they are passing through.

Why, you say? I was working on my patio yesterday afternoon and pair of walking cockbags (one who was stuck in the 80's and thought the sporting mow-hawk and the Ramones where still "cool", and the other who was putting up a good fight in the race for the "Look just like Eminem" award) were passing through my yard and "Eminem" finished his soda and threw the bottle over his head and it landed in my yard. I quickly shouted out for him to pick up and bottle and throw it in a garbage can, and after a blank stare (which easily confused me with the "tough guy" stare) he moped back to the spot where the bottle landed, picked it up and went back on their merry, gay way.

After getting back from eating out with some friends, I went out to water my garden and landscaping plants and just what do I find in my yard by my patio where I was working? "Eminem"'s soda bottle.

...If you read blogs a lot Shitbag-1 and Shitbag-2, I will remind you that I will be kicking your dirtbag asses next time I see you parading around my area.

Good. I feel much better. Don't feel bad; my wife got a worse storyboard version.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Why Do Dogs Exist on this Earth?

At this point in my life, I've come to a very narrow conclusion that all dogs on this earth should be tossed into a big fucking hole, dowsed in gasoline and set a-flame.

When did people think that it's acceptable to purchase a domestic animal (such as a 'dog') spend gobs of money on pouring a concrete pad, putting up a zoo-like cage for it to roam around in and then... leaving it out there for the remainder of it's life, never paying the animal one bit of attention and further more, let it bark every minute of the damn day and at every damn thing on this PLANET; moving or not; living or not.

Moments like this make me wish there were more Korean or Chinese restaurants in the area I live; free meat, 100% profit.

...and if you know who I am and live by me, then take responsibility for your pet, shitbags.

Monday, May 15, 2006

A Hypocrit's Fallacy: Cake is better than Cheese?

So I had celebrated my oldest daughter's birthday this past weekend. The birthday went well, however, there's just that 'thing' about getting together with family members that sparks that enigma in the back of my mind as to how fucking ignorant people can really be.

On most all of my daughter's birthdays, we've usually just ended up just grilling hamburgers and hotdogs just as a convience sort of deal. I try not to cater to people's fancy, but this time I did, by leaving cheese off of all the hamburgers so my mother-in-law wouldn't make me go cook a "special order" one; like I'm running some damn Burger King in my backyard.

I went on to make the comment to her that I have learned my lesson from previous years, so I left the cheese off the hamburgers this time. She went on to ramble this comment to me, "Well that's good beacuse cheese is fattening." Now I usually tend to just ignore that type of shit, but when I see that same person harping over caloric intake of cheese, but then woof down 3 peices of BIRTHDAY CAKE, thats where I draw the line: when will ignorance end?

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Homeless/Drifter Scam?

Since I've moved, I primarily use this little loop of an interstate to get myself from different locations in town. What's so f---ing interesting about that, you say? Well, I've begun to notice a "rise" in the amount of drifters and homeless activity around the on-ramps of the interstates and their particular movites to 'get' things, such as food, money, or a ride.

What is so damn wierd about this is the fact that every drifter/homeless folk I've noticed hold the very same characteristic as the next one I see:

1) Clean - Meaning, I know what the weather was like a couple days ago, and you look rather clean and well appeared, clothing included.

2) Always have a backpack that appears to be COMPLETELY empty - it's always lying there on the ground or next to a pole sagging over or blowing in the wind.

3) A perfectly square piece of cardboard cut with scissors, spray-painted with silver paint and carrying the almost exact same message, written with a black Sharpie: "Looking for work, food, money or donation. Anything you can spare. God bless!"

I'm not about to stereotype anyone who may fit this description, all I'm saying is sh-t just isn't adding up as far as who they are appearing to be. The commonalities, such as the signs always having those characteristics, really makes me second guess their vailidity. I mean, if you're homeless, where the f--- did you get the materials to make that pretty lookin' sign? I know Sharpies are like $1.00 if not more; shit, that's a quick meal off the dollar menu at Burger King. At no point am I sold on the despairity of their situation; I'd expect to see a jagged piece of board or paper with a darkly scribbled message with pens they stole from a gas station.

I'm thinking I should do this trick next time I need a quick 50 bones, because I've seen some healthy donations get passed out of car windows by people.

...I'm in the wrong profession for sure.

Case in point, though: dumb con-artists.

Start of an Era

I've had many blogs in the past; some of which were an attempt to get my thoughts and ideas out to this sick, yet interesting, digital world, others which were a spur-of-the-moment venture based solely on humiliation of others.

I've quickly come to realize that it's really difficult to categorize the multitude of passionate topics that I love to rant about, whether it's a breaking news bulletin, fantasization about starting someone on fire, black ninja conspiracies, something outlandish or retarded a fellow human being has done in my presense, or even that lovely karma that always seems to bite me in the ass daily; it's hard to manage it all.

...solution: one blog, many topics. (what a revolutional idea?)