Monday, August 31, 2009

`make bowel-growl`?

I've been really bad this last week with watching my diet. Maybe for the average 'Joe XL', eating out 2-3 times a week is a normal occurrence, but for this guy, it damages my damn body to a point of reckoning. Ya, so maybe I sound like a fucking sissy poster boi for an "Activa" commercial... case in point: I'm not a fast food or restaurant devotee; I'd prefer to make my own healthy food and eat in moderation.

This morning was an absolute test in gurgling intestinal foo. A sudden urge to drop the brown snake anchor hit me like a ton of bricks. So what's a geek like me to do when I know I'm going to be stranded in the handi-capped john stall for a while? Well, a dude like me grabs the nearest book within reach and heads for the can.

Well, out of all books I happened to grab, I took the convenient, yet coincidentally ironic book title of 'Managing Projects with Make' by O'reilly.

What did I learn from all of this? Well I certainly didn't learn how script myself to do a 'make dump' or anything impossibly fantastic, but I did train myself to keep a better set of bathroom-friendly material in case I have another attack of the eatting-out-bowel monster.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Insomnia sucks

If it isn't bad enough that from time-to-time I have an excuse why I am up at 1:00AM on a Sunday (Monday) morning: slinging code, working on a computer project, watching an intriguing movie/TV show, etc. Not tonight.

I've got a case of Insomnia, and it sucks. I assume it to be directly related to the 8oz mini can of Pepsi I had at 9:00PM tonight. Because of my stellar non-addiction to carbonated caffeinated soda, any time I have one in the near dusk hours of evening, I'm pretty much screwed. So not only am I fighting bouts of caffeine, but now a light anxiety attack has set in because I need to get up and get to work early at 6:30AM.

...how fun this will be as it unfolds.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I'm officially a 'Geocacher'

What do you get when you have a plethora of GPS devices around the house, an eager 7 year old full of adventure and quest, a 3 year old neck deep in the nostalgia and mystery of "pirate treasure" and a wife with the keenest of eye for finding just about anything I lose around the house? A Geocaching family, of course.

For the last couple nights this week, my two girls and I have been entertaining ourselves with looking up local geocache spots from geocaching.com. As they learn a lot about hunting for small objects, I'm slowly beginning to realize how GPS navigation works again using just the North and West degrees (no graphical maps for this dude!). We came up empty handed, until tonight, when my wife joined us for a quick hunt before it got dark.

We decided to hit up this easy find (GCWE31) over in a nice quarry-ridden cliff filled area with direct river access north of where we live. We used my Garmin Nuvi 255 (that I recently got from my wonderful family for Father's Day) to get to a ball park area where we can vehicle access, then continued on foot through some beautiful scenery using my trusty, old Lowrance Eagle Explorer.

After some clever eye work by my wife in some of the crevices of the rock edge, we all found our first cache together**! I was pretty excited and it was a good feeling getting that geocache monkey off my back and tossing that bastard down the cliff into the river.







Even though geocaching has been a well known extracurricular for avid hikers and urban explorers for some time now, I'm glad I jumped on the bandwagon and finally started doing it.

** I wouldn't be correct without noting that this is my oldest daughter's 2nd Geocache (which I was reminded of many, many times on the way back home)

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Wii Fit for the not so fit

In the spirit of annual birthday gift ideas, my wife has been raving over getting a Wii Fit for some time now and I happened to see a good lot of them and picked one up. Of course, I'm hell of a damn good guy, and gave it to her ~20 days prior to her real birthday, which, of course, she gladly appreciated since she's been on a bit of an exercising binge lately, preparing that beach body for our Florida trip at the end of May.

It's hysterical, ironic and humiliating what one learns from a gaming system like the Wii Fit. What did I learn, you say? This:

1) DO NOT do your initial BMI and weight assessment in front of your wife: Even though she knows it, it's not the numbers than she'll laugh it, it's the beer belly and junk trunk Wii Fit obtusely tosses as baggage onto your Mii character that is, well... sad, funny and true all at once, and IMHO, an unfair and rather overboard attempt to self-humiliate you into working out.

2) Nintendo is a sole supporter of outrageous body mass ratios: With my assessment, it was fair to say that Nintendo is secretly trying to build an Army of lean, Nazi-death-camp-esque looking individuals who can jog in place for hours at a time at will. Now, I'm not overweight by any stretch of the imagination, but Wii Fit has some sick idea that even my skinniest days (which were being deployed in Iraq at a meager 142lbs) of showing ribs like a starving, beat dog, that somehow that doesn't fit their overall goal to have the world be at a 22 BMI.

3) Running in place, well... sucks: Contrary to Wii Fit's generous compliments on my running style, running 13 minutes in place to roundhouse the Mii workout island is anything short of ridiculous. HOLY SHIT. Your calfs will ache for days. Trust me.

That's all I can really speak of at this moment. However, in closing, in retrospect and closing on a more positive note, the Wii Fit is really a brilliant idea to get people motivated in working out, even if it is slightly less applied than a real work out, I can always contest that I'm a little sore every day.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

And the 2009 "Parent of the Year" Award goes to...

If there's anything that you can do in this world that will shape, mold, inspire, make or break a human life in this world, that, my friend, would be parenting.

Going out with some good friends of mine this evening produced a few of society's finest specimens of the parental genome. Why listen to my incoherent bullshit, lets here about the contestants:

Parent #1:
All the better that the state I live in will soon pass a public wide smoking ban, and not that I'm driven to do so by this threat against society and human choice, my friend and I had some diner at a restaurant-slash-bar. Unlike some establishments, this place has a completely segregated bar and dining area; which is nice for families or doing the bar scene. So while having some beers, a burger and a smoke, my friend and I happen to notice a child not much older than our *own* fucking child(ren), in comparison, sitting with mom and pop, gnawing on some chicken strips sucking in my, along with many others, second hand smoke. Oh do I point out for mere humor upon myself, at 7:00pm at night.


Weigh-in: Absol-fucking-lutely brilliant job Dumb #1 and Dumb #2 (yes, you bastid parents get the Dr Suess rip-off analogy). Whatever sick, selfish obsession altered your judgment to take your CHILD into a BAR and let them SUCK IN SECOND HAND SMOKE and neglect any gosh damn home morals like, oh, HAVING SUPPER at a DECENT TIME AT YOUR KITCHEN TABLE, so you could have some bar food and put your stupidity and lame interests ahead of your child's well-being, I so wish I could have applauded you with my foot up both your asses. I may have not have had dinner with my wife and kids that night either, but I made them a nice meal BEFORE I LEFT and SAT DOWN at the table with them. Try it, once. It's a fucking a-mazing deal.

Parent #2:
I'm a sucker for the recent barrage of DC Comic movie turnovers that have come out the last year. After dinner, my friends and I decided to hit up the theatre and take in "The Watchmen". Not knowing a lot about it, I do have to say, on a very extremely high level, it was a great show. However, for the lush amounts of sex scenes, pornography, murdering, death, limb dismemberment, blood, graphic violence, nudity and disturbing socio-logical situations, I'd say it should have been rated higher than "R". Again, putting that aside, fabulous story-line and very well organized/filmed movie.


Weigh-in: At what fucking point in time did an 8 YEAR OLD need to be witness to any of that shit I mentioned? OMFG. Hello, Mom, who sat center right about 10 rows lower than me and my friends, are you damn idiot? I'm not a prophet, nor to I have a crystal ball (well not one to at least throw at you for being so damn DUMB), however, I think I've got your child's future pretty well profiled and mapped out. I just can't decide if your child will aspire to: 1) Kill themselves for witnessing that kind of audio/visual culture shock, 2) Start murdering cats and dogs for fun and entertainment and move up to Jeffrey Daumer status, 3) Be the next school mass-murder that makes VA Tech and Columbine look like baby shit, 4) Delving in sex, drugs or violence and having a promising career as a 12 year old parent, a meth lab cooker or juvenile detention regular, or 5) Be such a damn societal wreck and drain, emotionally disconnect, and a literal fucking mess and blame every waking moment of their conscious, human life and their inability to sensitize towards reality and fiction on you.

You two ham-bone parent couples are why the damn world is the way it is. For that, I salute you and may the worst parent win.

Friday, February 27, 2009

One day sunny is another day... snow


Living in the highly fluctuating, climatic state that I live in, it's a wonder than the population isn't lower than it already is. It's almost a trip on borderline depression! How the hell is it possible to go from taking a country-side hike with a short sleeve t-shirt and sunglasses, writing some melodies with my acoustic guitar on the deck with a cup of tea all in the sunset balance of a warm, soothing 59 degrees, to digging my winter garb out of the closet to cope with the four blistery inches of snow and a -10 degree air temperature (not counting in the wind)?

*Sigh* Where else on the planet could you get such sweet diversity?

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Heroin Addict Heroes on my iPod

Over the last couple of months, my iPod album playlist has kind of evolved with my recent rekindling of acoustic tonal love. The downside of only having 8GB to work with on my 2Gen nano is that I can't house the entire coffee-house spectrum of music I want to listen to without putting a sizable dent in my rock repertoire.

I can't help but express another one of my complains: The music arena this decade sucks total shit and I don't see it getting any better any time soon. I grew up on way late 70's, 80's, and early to mid 90's pop/rock/metal side of the tracks; when bands had their own image and weren't cookie cut out to fill a marketing gap and hellbent on polluting the airwaves with more scr(emo) and shitty power chord thrashing.

So, perhaps my album highlight is overpowered by the fact that every one of the lead singers in these bands have died of heroin abuse.

Here's the top three this week:

1) Mother Love Bone - Apple

2) Blind Melon - Blind Melon

3) Alice in Chains - Sap

...these bands need no explanation. They just a very small example of what was good in the music industry when I was growing up.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Another affirmation Social Networking is G-A-Y

Yet another credible blog article on the dark facts of social networking and it's infinite stupidity and misconceptions surrounding your so-called "network of friends":

Are you a Facebook friend padder?

Lame.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

White-space removal goodness with Linux

I've been recently putting together a massive backup of all my digital wares on my network. Problem is, over the years, when I've converted any CD I had over to digital mp3's or made a copy of one of my DVDs, a lot of it was done without a lot of thought that I'd be backing it up to a UNIX box 9-10 years down the road; so a lot of the filenames by pure convenience to the application(s) I was using, uses white-spaces as delineations between fields on a filename.

Is that a real problem? Kinda because white-spaced named files are a hooker to work with under *NIX platforms. Case in point, it does cost me some sleep at night.

So where does Adam go when there's no where else to turn? the *NIX command-line.


sed example: sed -n "s/\s/_/g"



tr example: tr [:space:] _


...quick and dirty solution.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Yet Another Reason Social Networking Technology is... gay

It happened again...

Fears of impostors increase on Facebook

I'm not a fan of social networking. Never have. Never will be. To me, social networking is nothing more than a self-dwindling, sick, unrealistic sense of friendship, popularity and most importantly: a false impression of listening ears of people who give a shit.

There's plenty of excuses why people use social networking. Any worthy excuse I've ever heard usually boils down to "keeping in touch". Stupid reason, at best. If you want to keep in touch with your friends, try 'human contact'. Any one I know who I've befriended has my personal home telephone number. I don't see how you can get more personal than that considering everyone on the planet in any urban-type area has a cell phone.

Perhaps I'm old school or I just don't want to adopt douche-bag adaptations of so-called "great technology", but what happened to e-mail? *Everyone* has it. There's no way you can't have e-mail and even register for any social networking service. Last time I checked, e-mail attachments still worked and most of the working, urban world uses some sort of broadband connection, whether is be wired or wireless, or at home or know where to get access to it. To me, social network sites have pretty much reinvented the already turning wheel that message boards, newsgroups, e-mail distributions and instant messaging clients already have done for MANY years.

I, myself, prefer my privacy, seclusion and "me" time. I don't give a shit about your twitter notification telling me where you are every 5 seconds of the day. Nor do I care if I hurt your feelings if I didn't "shout out" to you on your MySpace message board. I could care less what your likes and dislikes are; your favorite movies; the music you like; what damn high school you came from; why you can't relate to mommy and daddy anymore; what your sexual orientation is; why you choose the religion you do. To me, it's all a sick cry for attention, bragging rights and to get some face time on the internet.

Insecurity makes you embrace social networking. If you had *real* friends, they'd already know the answers to all the intricate questions I mentioned above or that MySpace asks you in your profile. You wouldn't have to leave yourself bleeding in the wind for the whole world to see.

On top of all this, think of all the depressed, confused and spastic people who spend hour after countless hour typing, posting, uploading photos, and keeping their profile up-to-date in hopes that they'll get one "virtual" nibble of friendship. Yes, virtual. Not *real*. I swear that social networking is in a close damn second with NCAA tournament in amount of time wasted. Take all that lost effort and put it into real, tangible friendships instead of a thumbnail photo and a lame profile I wouldn't trust any farther than I could throw it.

In conclusion, on a internet social networking medium, my condolences. I think it's the worst technology this century has created.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Poop Birds squatting on Mr Roger's inside shoes?

Poop bird (n): Funny combination of two nouns that just don't belong together, yet the linear conglomeration of them make comical consortum in my kids eyes.

Early this morning, while getting ready to walk out the door for work, my kids are usually just getting up to start their day. As they trot up the stairs still in a sleep induced haze, they are usually cognitive enough to tell me good morning as I return a mere jester of my comical love.

As soon as I utter, "Top 'o the morning poop birds," do I realize that I have done something to my youngest daughter. That 'something' was what all of us have gone though one time or another in our lives. That 'time' where that 'some thing' that you've heard or seen a million time before suddenly makes 'sense'.

I've never seen more combustible laughter in my house like that before. It goes to show that when you observe your child finally understand and get humor is probably one of the best days of your life.

On this very same day, I walked in the door as I normally do after a good ol' day at work, take off my 'outside' shoes and, routine, as always, put on a pair of nice, comfortable old man slippers. What's sad, is that it finally sunk in what I've been doing for the past year: I'm, in a very slight sliver of a way, finding myself putting reminiscent scenes from Mr Rogers in my life with one of them being having a pair of dedicated inside and outside shoes.

In retrospect, I've found that as I'm not as old as I appear, life is worn on a good path in parts of my life. And as I find myself picking up old man habits well before 30, it's nice to know my kids still glow some of that youthful humor anyone with half a pulse can appreciate.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Macgyver's Vengence Against Wal-mart?

I've always had a personal disgust for Big Corporation, specifically Wal-mart. They'd wiggled their ways into our lives and we are all forced to succumb and bow our heads as we shuffle into fucking Wal-mart because it would be a financial stupor otherwise to go to 3-4 different places to conduct the same shopping experience because they stifle competition and harbor any chance local companies have to succeed without having to make their wares less competitive and more expensive.

What Wal-mart provides in low prices and having everything in one general store location they uttery lack in a plethora of other categories: customer service, item availability, satisfaction, accountability, genuine item authenticity, ethics, morals and, point blank, doing what is right.

So, why do I say all this? More importantly, what the hell does it have to do with Macgyver?

Answer: a lot.

I'm a big Macgyver fan, and I happened to have some gift card balance left and I needed one last season to complete my Macgyver DVD collection, so I ordered it on walmart.com. I went to pick it up at the local store late last evening and this morning I opened up the so-called 'newly' sealed DVD series of Macgyver.

What I found in the DVD case was, well... a bit of shock and awe for me. All 3 DVD cases were shattered with plastic bits all over and the most bizarre bit of it all is 4 of the 6 DVDs had finger prints on them! (Yes, I said finger prints)

I call Wal-mart customer service for walmart.com and they were certainly *not* helpful. I was told I could buy a new one again on their online shopping store and then on my own dime, return the DVD set to the store. Not an option for me considering I got shafted the first time buying from their online store.

I then, in turn, called the local Wal-mart store customer service, which started out really promising, offering me exactly what I wanted: My money back so I could go buy my beloved Macgyver season somewhere else in town. I made it clear that they let the customer service department know the arrangement so I'm not wasting my time driving into the store to get the run around.

When I got to my local Wal-mart store, it was a COMPLETELY different situation. Customer service pretended as if I had not called at all and told me I was stuck with only being able to exchange the item because I opened it. After stating that I've called already and getting confirmation I could get my money back because you didn't have that particular season in the store, I was then asked if I understood the quote/unquote "Federal Copyright Act".

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! So not only was I getting treated like an asshole, I was also getting accused of somehow making copies of this Macgyver DVD series and trying to return it to the store. That was the deal breaker and I let loose on the obese, naive and obviously clueless customer service rep who obviously could have given two shits about listening to my situation nor cared enough to get the information on my arrangement I made prior to driving in.

It's safe to assume that perhaps she didn't know about it, however, after getting quite pissed off at the fact that I was accused of DVD piracy, one of her co-workers said, "Hey, is that Macgyver Season 5?" The plump wonder I was dealing with, followed up sharply with, "Yes it is, Season 5 of Macgyver."

...now this is where I finally got justice in a sarcastic sort of way. The co-workers then says, "That's already been approved, so give him his full refund back already." What sweet victory is was.

What the fuck ever happened to the customer is always right? What ever happened to customer service being courteous and astute to customers? What ever happened to the commitment to customers? What ever happened to customer product satisfaction?

The day I am done buying diaper pull-ups. baby wipes and other family items that otherwise are expensive in other stores are over, so are my fucking days of buying anything else at Wal-mart.